So now surely you're thinking "What does this have to do with me being single and fabulous?"
The short answer is absolutely nothing.
In fact, unlike all of the others, today's blog post has nothing to do with YOU at all.
As we all know by now Movin' On Mondays is dedicated to helping some of our newly single sisters transition smoothly into singledom-- out of Heartbreak Hotel and into self-love bliss. It occurred to me today that sometimes the biggest hurdle we face in moving past painful break-ups is learning not to overanalyze ourselves over the course of hours, days, months, years, and sometimes lifetimes trying to figure out what WE did wrong.
Now yes, sometimes we can be too much, too fab, too amazing, and too perfect for our partners to handle, but I think it's also important to understand that sometimes break-ups aren't about US at all.
Nobody likes to hear, "Baby, it's not you, it's me." And hell, at this point none of us would hardly believe it anyway, but sometimes believe it or not, it's true.
The men in our lives, much like the hungry little caterpillar, go through transitions into manhood, even if they are full grown, 55-year old, 401-K having, AARP card-carrying caterpillars.
For humans, transitions not only come with age and developmental stages, but also life experiences and change. I think that sometimes we forget that men go through changes too.
Much like us, men also experience things that take them out of their comfort zones and cause them to reevaluate their own sense of self. During these times they often retreat into their cacoons, and put up barriers from the world while they sort through their thoughts and- *GASP!* feelings!!- in a place that's private and personal, for only their eyes to see.
Over the years, I've learned that men don't handle change as easily as women- I mean, we're forced to change every 21 days whether we like it or not- I think in this way we ladies are much more resilient. We've learned to hope for the best but expect the worse, and picking our broken hearts up off the floor, for many of us, has become as natural as falling and getting back up is to a small child learning to walk.
Men are strong, but in a different way. When they fall, it seems that it takes them a little bit longer to get back up.
So why am I telling you fabs all of this?
Because I want you to know that sometimes when your romantic dreams aren't realized, it has nothing to do with you.
I want you to stop beating yourselves up and picking yourselves apart. You are wholly and perfectly made, and just like I'm sure you already told your BFF, "No girl, he won't find another woman as good as you!" :)
But what he might be looking for, at this particular time is himself.
For today's Movin' On Monday, I want to encourage each of you to let go of the anger and the bitterness and the disappointment of love unfulfilled. Perhaps he really didn't mean to hurt you. He may have truly never meant to make you cry.
All men aren't dogs, divas; some are just caterpillars.
And if you're lucky, and if it's truly meant to be then, maybe, just maybe, your man will come back to you one day, this time as a fully grown butterfly!
Until then, Love life...every SINGLE moment of it!
-XOXO
