What's YOUR Vision?

Singlelistas, I have to ask! Are you following your resolutions?

Are you going to the gym everyday?

Have you scheduled your trip to the Mediterranean?

Have you paid off that credit card debt that you’ve had since college? 

I don’t know about you but I’m still paying on acrylic nails that I bought way back in 2001…

Oh, the shame!

I digress.

The reason that I’m checking on YOUR resolutions is because I really want this year to be all about YOU!

We declared that 2011 would be the Year of the Single Woman, but we never really talked about what that meant.

You’ve been heavy on my heart lately because I’ve been thinking about all of the phenomenal things that we, as single women, could be doing with this time of freedom and independence in our lives, yet I wonder how many of us actually use this time to really fulfill that.


I thought about this because not too long ago I had a Vision Party with a gaggle of my girlfriends, which if you haven’t been to or hosted one this year, I highly recommend that you do!

Anyway, as we were sipping sangrias, eating Asian-inspired tapas, and creating 2011 vision boards, complete with enough glitter to prompt the sequel to Mariah Carey’s cinematic catastrophe, I was really taken aback by the number of women who kept putting wedding-themed icons on their boards.

There were wedding rings, wedding dresses, wedding venues (castles of course!), and wedding favors literally spilling off of their pages, yet not a single one of them had a boyfriend, a strong suitor, or even a blind date on the horizon.

Now, I didn’t say anything then (and I imagine my phone will begin rigorously ringing as soon as this posts!) but I really thought for a moment that I had entered the bridal twilight zone.


Like, maybe it’s just me but how do you plan to be married this year, and you haven’t yet found a suitable mate?

*blank stare*

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m as much of a hopeless romantic as the next chick. I carry my glass slippers around in my purse and I allot extra vacay time in my Blackberry just in case Prince Charming comes riding along unannounced and whisks me away to his paradise in the sky.

But in looking at the boards as they were being designed and blinged, I couldn’t help but think what a waste of space it was to plan for something over which you have such very little control.

Call me old school, but I honestly believe that men decide when they are going to propose, and we decide whether we are going to accept.

Now I know there are some lovely ladies out there who proposed to their husbands and rode off happily into the sunset, but for the most part, that’s not really how it works- and it's certainly not the way most of us envisioned it as young girls- because yes, we’ve all been planning these weddings since we were four!

I may have actually began planning immediately after my birth, but that’s a totally different story!


My point is, that fairly or not, for most women it’s pretty much a waiting game.

We have to wait for a man who doesn’t repulse us to come along.

We have to wait until he decides that he can’t live without us another day (even though we’ve known that all along!)

We have to wait until he’s ready to purchase our 10-karat ring (yes, I said 10!).

We wait until he's willing to withstand the ridicule of “the fellas,” and  we wait until he buys the proper knee guard equipment that will enable him to comfortably drop down in front of all of humanity, and whimsically declare his undying love.

Whew!

And as most of us have noticed, ummm…we just might be waiting a while, especially for those of us who are waiting on the right guy to come along. 

Which brings me back to my vision boards.

I’ve been giving it a lot of thought and I’ve decided that the difference between being a "single woman" and a "singlelista" is all in how you wait.

Instead of filling our resolutions with goals that we may or may not be able to achieve, based on factors…ahem, men…beyond our control, what if we filled our visions with the other things in life that make us happy?

As modern women, we want it ALL-- The man, yes.

But also the houses, the cars, the clothes, the careers, the vacations in Venice, the summers on the Vineyard, the pup, the nonprofit, the Grammy, the Tony, the Oscar, the Golden Globe-it ALL!

Recognizing that, we should resolve to fill up our vision boards with things that remind us to be our best selves- to be stunning, kind, fashionable, charitable, brilliant, healthy, whole, spiritual, and happy!

I believe that if we redirect the energy we spend wallowing in love unfound, and invest it in ourselves, on an uncompromising journey to become better everyday, we can truly find the happiness which we all seek.

Singlelistas, I want 2011 to be all about YOU.

Do the things you’ve always wanted to do.

Redesign your wardrobe. Buy your house. Charter a plane. Travel the world. Parachute out of the sky. Open your business. Start a nonprofit. Run for political office. Buy yourself a diamond (OK, maybe not a 10-karat one, but you see where I'm going with this)!

 LIVE FOR YOU!

And by the time you finish loving and investing in your phenomenal self, as luck would have it, I’d venture to bet that the love you’ve been searching for will be much closer than you imagined.

Stars attract stars.

So go ahead singlelistas, SHINE!

This year is all about YOU!

Write YOUR vision. And make it plain.

Love life…every SINGLE moment of it!
-xoxo

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2 Cute 4 U: Hello Superstar

It's a new year which, according to your resolutions, means a new you! 

In 2011, you've vowed to be effortlessly fabulous and while the perfect outfit is very important, your makeup simply cannot be ignored. After all, your face is the first thing people see and you deserve to look and feel gorgeous.

Just because the holiday celebrations are over does not mean that the glam should stop.  During the Year of the Single Woman, we want you to be show-stopping and ready for your close-up at all times! 

"How do you do that?," you ask. 

Great question!

We've got one of NYC's hottest makeup artists, Ericka Tapia, to give you all tips you need to make everywhere your Prada pumps touch your own personal red carpet!

Now a word of caution before we move forward, when going for Hollywood worthy glam, many of us make the big mistake of over doing our makeup.

Always remember, less is more!

For example, if you plan on rocking a bright or sequin dress, you want to play down your makeup. If you’re opting to go simple—a classic little black dress for instance, then you can play up your makeup with bold colors and even a little glitter.

We at The Singles’ Salon have scoured the net for some of the latest celebrity makeup looks to inspire you to get in touch with your inner superstar this year!

Now because we believe in total beauty, on the inside and out, there are some very important, fundamental steps you must take to prep your skin before we'll even tell you how to glam out your makeup.

Begin by moisturizing your skin and conditioning your lips (find a facial moisturizer and a lip balm you love and use them religiously).

Evenly apply your foundation all over your face. Be sure to blend in any hard edges or lines.

Next, apply concealer to any blemishes or scars for ultimate coverage.

Next, lightly dust translucent powder over your entire face- emphasis on the lightly.

Finally, brush your brows with a spoolie and fill in any areas where needed with a shade appropriate eyebrow liner.

Now for the fun part! 

Follow these easy instructions and be picture perfect and ready for your close up all 2011 long!

Kim Kardashian’s Infamous Smokey Eye

1. Line both the top and bottom lash lines with a black eye pencil.


2. Use a small eye shadow brush to soften the edges of the eye line.


3. Use a dark shadow with a smudge brush to go over the penciled area and smudge—this will also set the eye liner.


4. Apply a lighter shadow preferably in a neutral tone encircling the entire eye to soften—to give a perfect blended smokey eye.


5. Curl your lashes and apply black mascara on top and bottom lashes.


6. Apply a peach-toned colored blush to the apples of your cheeks and stroke the brush along your cheekbone towards your ear.


7. Apply a nude gloss to your lips.



Keri Hilson’s Sultry Lavender Eye

1. Apply an eye base primer.


2. Use a vibrant, satin lavender eye shadow color and apply from the lash line to your eye crease. Leave brow bone bare.


3. Use black eyeliner on your top lash line and your water line and take a smudge brush with some of the purple/lavender eye shadow to smudge underneath your lash line.


4. Curl your lashes and apply black mascara on the bottom and top lashes.


5. Apply a shimmer peach or pink colored blush to the apples of your cheeks and stroke the blush brush along your cheekbone towards your ear.


6. Color your lips with a nude or light brown gloss.


Christina Aguilera’s Classic Red Lip

1. Apply an eye base primer.


2. Use a light brown matte eye shadow and brush the color over your eyelids.


3. Use black eyeliner on your top lash line only! Use white eye liner for your water line.


4. Curl your lashes and apply black mascara to the top. Apply a strip of false lashes and reapply mascara only to the top lashes to blend in the false lashes with your real lashes.


5. Apply a very faint pink blush to the apples of your cheeks and stroke the brush along your cheekbone towards your ear.


6. Line your lips with a red lip liner and fill in with a rich red lipstick. Add gloss.

Eva Mendes’s Fierce Cat Eye

1. Line your top lash line with a black liner and wing out the corners of your eye to give yourself the cat wing.


2. Use the same black eyeliner to gently line your lash line.


3. Curl your lashes and apply black mascara on the top and bottom.


4. Apply a pink blush to the apples of your cheeks and stroke the blush brush along your cheekbone towards your ear.


5. Apply a soft peach lipstick to your lips.


Rihanna’s Lashes and Wine Stained Lips

1. Apply an eye base primer.


2. Pick a natural color eye shadow and apply it from your lash line to right above your crease.


3. Line both your top and lower lash lines with a black eye liner.


4. Curl your lashes and apply black mascara, then apply a strip of false lashes from the inner corner of the eye to the outer corner of the eye. Reapply mascara to blend the false lashes with your natural lashes.


5. Apply a pink colored blush to the apples of your cheeks and stroke the blush brush along your cheekbone towards your ear.


6. Line your lips with a wine colored lip pencil, then fill in the lip with the same lip pencil to stain the lips, next use a deep red matte lipstick to go over the lips.

Well, there you are singlelistas! Superstar glamour for a superstar you!
 
Now, the only thing left for you to do is pose for the camera.
 
*click*
 
*click*
 
*click*
 

To learn more about how you can get your glam on, visit www.ErickaTapia.com for a personal beauty consultation. 

Love life...every SINGLE moment of it!
-xoxo

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What Chilli REALLY Wants: The Interview

She may be cute and petite, but R&B legend Chilli has a giant’s worth of wisdom-- especially when it comes to love and relationships.

With renewed popularity from her hit reality show, What Chilli Wants, the self-described tomboy who once told us she “could have any man that [she] want[s] to, time or place that [she] choose[es] to” is proving that while that may be true, not just any man can have her.


The five-foot starlet is patently clear about what she doesn’t want in a man, and after sharing her now infamous “list” with the world, many skeptics believe that Chilli’s "Mr. Right" may not even exist.


So what exactly does the notoriously single singer really want?


The answer might surprise you.


Chilli, born Rozanda Thomas, learned an important lesson about relationships at a very early age. “I saw my mom in a marriage that didn’t work,” she says “and I learned that when it’s not right, it’s not right.” Her mother, whom she describes as a very strong woman, ultimately left that marriage, teaching her daughter a lesson that would forever remain with her— the importance of not settling.

“I could be alone until I’m 50 years old and that’s fine with me because I’m alone, but not lonely,” she says with a smile that sparkles almost as brightly as the Chanel diamond earrings that offset her casually upswept bun.


“So many people who are telling me ‘Oh, you need to be in a relationship,’ are so unhappy, she says emphatically. “All you have to do is look around; so many people are so unhappy in relationships. Why would I want that? Who is that for?” she pauses, “I was going to say that’s for the birds, but I don’t even wish that on the birds. Why would anybody want to be an unhealthy, unsatisfying relationship?

Beautiful, witty, and incredibly down to earth, Chilli is much more  big sister than pop diva as she extols about her hard-learned lessons on the importance of loving yourself first.


“I know what it feels like to be extremely unhappy in a relationship, to lose who you are, as a person. In your twenties you’re learning about yourself and you may be afraid to just be who you are you for fear that somebody may not like it. [In your twenties] you care more about what other people think of you and you get into relationships you have no business getting into,” she recalls. “I know what that feels like, and in knowing that I will never put myself in that situation again.”


Now with almost 40 years of life and love under her belt (although she gives most 20-somethings a hard run in face and physique), it is clear that Chilli’s lessons in self love have been greatly influenced by many other dynamic women in her life.


Her “Big Momma” once warned her against being an “old fool”- a person who goes through a particular experience, but never learns anything. Chilli heeded that word of caution and applied it to her love life, as much as she did to every other aspect of becoming a whole and happy woman.


“I never want to be the old fool, and old doesn’t have a number on it. It’s less about age and more about the experiences that you’ve had. It’s something that’s familiar to you but if you’re not learning from that ill feeling, or even that great feeling of it, then that’s stupid on you. I constantly keep that in mind. I understand who I am as a woman. I embrace everything about myself and about my character. I know how God built me as a woman, and because of that I could never settle for the wrong relationship with the wrong man.”



Chilli talks with founding editor Kelly Smith Beaty about how she's able to be "alone, but not lonely."

  

Chilli dishes love advice "big sister" style. In my mind, we're now BFFs and are going shopping together on Saturday!



With publicist Christal Jordan Mimms of Enchantd PR, Chilli beams recalling how she came to find happiness within herself, and how now appreciating her worth will keep her from ever settling in the wrong relationship again.



With an infectious smile, radiating self-confidence, a son whose name alone makes her eyes dance, indisputable success, fortune, fame, and fierce designer shades, it’d be hard to argue that Chilli doesn’t already have it all. But she’s quick to point out that her professional success has nothing to do with her ability to hold out for the right man. When asked about the secret to her self-happiness, she immediately responds, “Security.”

Convinced that it’s our own insecurities that cause women to pick a man just for the sake of having a man, or to try to make relationships work that we know we aren’t fulfilled in, Chilli likens women holding on to "Mr. Right Now" to infants holding on to pacifiers. “At some point, we’ve got to learn to put the pacifier down. I don’t care if you burn it, hide it, or throw it away. Do whatever you have to do to stop depending on that pacifier!,” she laughs.

And to make sure that her message does not get confused, she clarifies “It’s OK to desire a relationship. God designed us that way. But it’s the way that we go about it that we have to be mindful of. Don’t just go out there and pick a guy to have a guy. Don’t just go get someone to fill that void in your life. No one can fill that void for you until you fill it for yourself.”


So if Chilli knows all the answers and has already uncovered the secret to love and happiness, then why did she take to a nationally televised show to find a suitable mate?


“I have the show so people can see that we’re all the same. I’ve heard many women say things like, ‘Well if Chilli can’t find a man, what does that mean for me?’ It doesn’t matter what my job is or how many more people know me than the next female, we all generally have the same issues,” she says.

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But not everybody gets the well-intentioned “sharing is caring” motivation behind her show. Since it originally aired in Season 1, Chilli has received a lot of criticism for being too picky, with a surprisingly great deal of the backlash coming from other women.


“For women who tell me that I’m too picky, I look at them like, ‘Baby, do you know your worth? Do you know how beautiful you are- inside and out? Do you know all the gifts that God has instilled in you?’ I honestly believe that if all women would truly learn and know and embrace all of that about themselves, then they would all be the same way too.”


It is that message, the power of owning your own self-worth, that Chilli wants to share with every woman.


“In my nightly prayer, it’s always ‘God keep my heart pure and use me all the time.’ I’m sharing my successes and my struggles in hopes that it can change somebody’s life for the better and uplift them,” she explains. “It’s a work in progress but I’m clear. I’ve been good [about recognizing my own self-worth and fully loving myself] for a few years now. I just want other people to get there- truly loving who you are-because when we get there, it’s an amazing feeling, an overwhelming feeling!”


So, again we ask, what is it that Chilli REALLY wants?

She wants each of you, to fully love, accept, and celebrate YOU!

She wants you to be your own source of happiness and fulfillment!


She wants you to put down the pacifiers and never again settle for less than you deserve!

She wants you to have What YOU Want!

Bonus Track: Ready to be “Game Proof ?”
Here are three bonus tips for keeping your life Scrubs free!

1- Become your own best friend.
Learn to enjoy spending time with yourself. Go to a movie by yourself. Take yourself out to dinner. Afford yourself a chance to think a little more and not have to rely on another body being there. Once you know how to take care of you, it will be easier to recognize whether others have the ability to give you the same.

2- Learn Your Love Languages
There are many relationship books out there claiming to teach you how to think, how to act, and how to catch a man. One of Chilli’s favorite books on love, is The 5 Love Languages. This book doesn’t try to tell you how to be different, but rather how to get in touch with your authentic self. The 5 Love Languages will reveal how you personally interpret love, which will better help you find a mate who speaks your language!

3- Know When to Go
If you find yourself saying, “I really like him, BUT…” it’s time to stop the clock on a dead-end relationship. Whatever follows the conjunction “but” in that statement is what you are really looking for, and judging by your statement, he’s not it. It’s not his fault that he’s not the man of your dreams, because he is perfect for someone, just not you. Leave while you are still in like, because although it may hurt a little in the beginning, it will pale in comparison to the pain you’ll face a lifetime later when you’re finally ready to accept that he’s STILL not the man for you.

Watch What Chilli Wants, Sunday nights at 9 PM, EST on VH-1!


Love life…every SINGLE moment of it.
-xoxo

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Single Celebs We Love: What Chilli Wants

Happy New Year Singlelistas!

I hope you all brought in 2011 with grand style. 

We told you last year that 2011 would be the Year of the Single Woman, why else would it begin with 1-1-11?!?

If you're rolling solo then this is sure to be your year, so if you didn't toast to yourself when the clock struck midnight, then I think now is a great time to raise a glass in honor of your fearless, flawless self! 

This year The Singles' Salon resolves to continue to give you the news you need to live life freely and happily. 

We hope that you will resolve to continue to give yourself permission to find happiness within, and use the time and the freedom you now have to live your best life and make an indelible impact on the world!

Okay, ladies enough of the sappy talk.

Let's get to the fab at hand!

Last year (i.e. last week. Lol! I love that!) we told you that we were working on a really cool article for you. Now you know that we don't normally post on Sundays here, but tonight is a big night for single women everywhere so we had to make an exception.

This evening at 9 PM EST, superstar singlelista Chilli, from the iconic girl power group, TLC will debut season 2 of her hit reality show, What Chilli Wants!

Now you should know that I absolutely LIVE for this show, because unlike other dating shows out there, this isn't about Ms. Chilli's search for a man.  Instead it chronicles her commitment to dating and waiting until she finds THE man.

This singlelista may not be too proud to beg, but she certainly is too fly to settle, and that's why we love her so!

The Singles' Salon had the privilege of  attending the sneak peak party of What Chilli Wants, and one thing we can tell you is that Chilli is dishing out lots of eye candy for all of us single girls at home. 

Now, while most of the cuties won't measure up to her standards, they are just right for spending your Sunday nights at home on boy watch- after all, what better way is there to kick off the start of a brand new week?

*cue It's Raining Men*

Halleluiah!

Season 2 of What Chilli Wants promises lots of fun, cute guys, and great entertainment, but more importantly- a weekly reminder of the importance of owning your self worth. 

In tomorrow's post, we'll share what we learned from our one-on-one interview with the crazy, sexy, cool singlelista.  But today we thought we'd give you just a sample of the amazing time we had at her premiere party.

What Chilli Wants airs tonight at 9 PM EST on VH-1.  What we want is for you to grab your favorite bottle of wine and watch this wonder woman hold it down for all the single ladies everywhere!

Quick Q&A with Chilli

Q: Are you excited about the second season of "What Chilli Wants"? How does it feel to watch it with all these people [at the party] ?
 A: "I'm excited! It's weird to watch it with everyone but I'm very happy about it."

Q: What's the weirdest thing about dating on national television?

A: "It's strange to go out with guys who know things about me but I don't know anything about them."

Q: How do feel about viewers' reaction to the infamous "list"?

A: "I think every woman should have a list. I'm not asking for anything that I'm not bringing to the table."

Q: What have you learned about yourself (as it relates to dating) since the first season of "What Chilli Wants"?

A: "I learned that I was right. You should have standards. You should always know what you want."
 
A Single Sound bite- Audience Reactions
 
 

"I'm very excited...I really like [Chilli] as a person, she's really down to earth."

"That's one reality show I watch because she's real whether you like it or not."

"I loved the first season. I'm sure she's grown since then."

"I think she's awesome!"

"I'm glad they came out with another season...I'm ready to see what happens....the snippets are like teases." 

"I think it's interesting to start off [the first season] with Mayweather. I think she'll end up with him."

hmmm....!!!

"I  like [the show]. I think she's adorable. I get where she's coming from."

"I hope she finds love. I'm not sure if [the show] is the most traditional way but it gets a lot of attention. I'm rooting for her."

And so are we!

Whether Chilli finds what she wants this season or not, we are certain that she found the key to happiness a long time ago-- loving yourself first.

And that is...Ooooh...on the TLC tip!

Sorry! I just had to get that in there!

Love life...every SINGLE moment of it!
-xoxo

Contributing writer: Evita Broughton
Photo Credits: Antonio Scott

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