All the single ladies make some NOISSSSSSSSSE!!!
How many of you just screamed?
Okay, I'm kidding, but I do wonder if any of you ever get embarrased when the d.j. gives shout-outs to all the single women in the club.
I mean, if you're anything like me, it was cute when you were younger. (My requisite single ladies scream came like clock work after I was done raising the roof when they asked whether the 21 and up crew was in the house.)
But somewhere after 25, the screams became more and more faint, and after 30 they turned into indiscernible mouse peeps accompanied by a quick scan around the room to see whether anyone else actually heard me.
It's not that I'm ashamed of myself, it's just that there is something really taboo about being the single, older woman in the club. Like, just the other day my girlfriends and I were laughing about the stupid things we'd say when we were young, stupid, college girls.
Feeling ourselves because we were young, fine, and...well...stupid, when the d.j. asked for the "30 and up crew" we'd regularly balk that "If I'm still 30 and in the club, please just slap me." To which the automatic response was always, "Ugh! I know! 30!?! Shouldn't they be home with their husbands and kids?"
Well fast-forward about a decade, and my girlfriends and I still make guest appearances in the clubs, and a few of us still have neither a husband nor child.
Now before this reminiscence sends you down the road of "It wasn't supposed to be this way!" and you rush to dust off your Vesta "Congratulations" album circa 1988, allow me to give you some news you could probably use.
Yesterday, I read this story about a Cleveland woman who learned of her husband's 2nd marriage by finding him tagged in his new wife's wedding photos on Facebook!
I nearly dropped my morning mimosa (yes, that's how we do it over here, and no I didn't actually drop it because as appalled as I was, I didn't see the point in wasting perfectly fine champagne!) when I re-read that to make sure the story didn't say ex-husband.
Nope!
She is still married to him!
O-M-G! Singlelistas!! Can you imagine!?! Now I do not condone domestic violence in any shape, form, or fashion but I was absolutely certain that what I was reading was the intro to a new episode of Snapped!
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?! I mean, not only are you having an affair on me, but it's so deep that you two actually have the foresight to plan the rest of your lives together. Then you actually have the gall to execute the wedding. Then you are wreckless enough to post your wedding pictures on Facebook?!?
WHAT!?!? I CAN'T!!
I'm sorry! I need a martini just to finish writing this story. Hold please....
...
...
...
Okay, I'm back!
Sigh... as I was saying. I read this poor woman's story and had so many questions. Like, how much time was he spending away from home that he had time to plan a whole second wedding? Where did he tell you he was while the actual ceremony was taking place? How are you not in jail? (Oh, wait. No violence. Let's move past that-- quickly!)
Ladies, I couldn't even do justice to this story if I tried to recap it for you, but I promise that it has more scandal than every episode of "Falcon Crest" combined (Note: if you are not old enough to remember "Falcon Crest," you are not old enough to read this blog. I kid! Kinda!).
So what did the two-timing husband have to say about all of this? I'm so glad you asked. In an interview for the Today show he said, and I quote:
"I don't think I was cheating. "If you have a marriage that's not right from the beginning, it's not right at the end."
*dead* as in I literally just died!
Seriously singlelistas, I can't make this stuff up!
I'm sure many of you heard the story and had a similar out-of-body experience, because really... WHO DOES THAT?!?
But that's just it. People do. Her husband did.
Now, I'm not at all implying that all men are bad, and that every man you meet is going to do this to you. In fact, most won't. This case is clearly an extreme and I'm not trying to scare you off the aisle forever.
My point in sharing this story (aside from having the obvious, "Can you believe this!?" girl talk session) is that you should be glad that this wasn't you.
I'd be willing to bet you anything that when she was originally swept away in her fairy-tale romance, she could have never imagined that a few years later her prince charming would be picking another princess and saying "I Do" in the magic kingdom, while she got left behind. (Oh! Did mention that, according to the Associated Press, he also took their son out one day and never returned home. She later found out that he and the kids had moved to Florida with, wait for it... THE NEW WIFE!!! I can't!!!)
As I was sitting at my kitchen table reading this script for the next Lifetime "based on a true story"movie, I thought back on all the princes I'd loved and lost, and thought maybe everything really does happen for a reason.
Now, I don't think any man would run off and get married while still married to me (umm...I can actually almost guarantee you of that. There are just some things you just don't try with some people. I'm just saying!), but I do believe that having to let go then, has saved me from a lot of hurt and heart break now.
I can't imagine how the (first) wife must be feeling right now, and I wouldn't want to change places with her in a million years.
It's true that everything that glitters isn't gold, and that applies to flawless, princess cut, Harry Winston, diamond,wedding rings too. I honestly believe that if it were my time to be married, I would be. But looking back, I'm glad that I didn't rush myself into any situation, that wasn't really a perfect fit.
To the original wife, my heart truly goes out to you, and our doors here at the Salon are always wide open.
As for me, the next time I'm at the club and the d.j. starts asking the single women to make some noise, I plan to be the loudest (and the flyest!) singlelista on the dance floor!
Love life...every SINGLE moment of it!
-xoxo
Continue reading...
How many of you just screamed?
Okay, I'm kidding, but I do wonder if any of you ever get embarrased when the d.j. gives shout-outs to all the single women in the club.
 |
| Got bride envy? Keep reading! |
But somewhere after 25, the screams became more and more faint, and after 30 they turned into indiscernible mouse peeps accompanied by a quick scan around the room to see whether anyone else actually heard me.
It's not that I'm ashamed of myself, it's just that there is something really taboo about being the single, older woman in the club. Like, just the other day my girlfriends and I were laughing about the stupid things we'd say when we were young, stupid, college girls.
Feeling ourselves because we were young, fine, and...well...stupid, when the d.j. asked for the "30 and up crew" we'd regularly balk that "If I'm still 30 and in the club, please just slap me." To which the automatic response was always, "Ugh! I know! 30!?! Shouldn't they be home with their husbands and kids?"
Well fast-forward about a decade, and my girlfriends and I still make guest appearances in the clubs, and a few of us still have neither a husband nor child.
Now before this reminiscence sends you down the road of "It wasn't supposed to be this way!" and you rush to dust off your Vesta "Congratulations" album circa 1988, allow me to give you some news you could probably use.
Yesterday, I read this story about a Cleveland woman who learned of her husband's 2nd marriage by finding him tagged in his new wife's wedding photos on Facebook!
I nearly dropped my morning mimosa (yes, that's how we do it over here, and no I didn't actually drop it because as appalled as I was, I didn't see the point in wasting perfectly fine champagne!) when I re-read that to make sure the story didn't say ex-husband.
Nope!
She is still married to him!
 |
| Once upon a time in a love far, far away! The once happy couple |
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?! I mean, not only are you having an affair on me, but it's so deep that you two actually have the foresight to plan the rest of your lives together. Then you actually have the gall to execute the wedding. Then you are wreckless enough to post your wedding pictures on Facebook?!?
WHAT!?!? I CAN'T!!
I'm sorry! I need a martini just to finish writing this story. Hold please....
...
...
...
Okay, I'm back!
Sigh... as I was saying. I read this poor woman's story and had so many questions. Like, how much time was he spending away from home that he had time to plan a whole second wedding? Where did he tell you he was while the actual ceremony was taking place? How are you not in jail? (Oh, wait. No violence. Let's move past that-- quickly!)
Ladies, I couldn't even do justice to this story if I tried to recap it for you, but I promise that it has more scandal than every episode of "Falcon Crest" combined (Note: if you are not old enough to remember "Falcon Crest," you are not old enough to read this blog. I kid! Kinda!).
So what did the two-timing husband have to say about all of this? I'm so glad you asked. In an interview for the Today show he said, and I quote:
"I don't think I was cheating. "If you have a marriage that's not right from the beginning, it's not right at the end."
*dead* as in I literally just died!
Seriously singlelistas, I can't make this stuff up!
I'm sure many of you heard the story and had a similar out-of-body experience, because really... WHO DOES THAT?!?
But that's just it. People do. Her husband did.
Now, I'm not at all implying that all men are bad, and that every man you meet is going to do this to you. In fact, most won't. This case is clearly an extreme and I'm not trying to scare you off the aisle forever.
My point in sharing this story (aside from having the obvious, "Can you believe this!?" girl talk session) is that you should be glad that this wasn't you.
I'd be willing to bet you anything that when she was originally swept away in her fairy-tale romance, she could have never imagined that a few years later her prince charming would be picking another princess and saying "I Do" in the magic kingdom, while she got left behind. (Oh! Did mention that, according to the Associated Press, he also took their son out one day and never returned home. She later found out that he and the kids had moved to Florida with, wait for it... THE NEW WIFE!!! I can't!!!)
As I was sitting at my kitchen table reading this script for the next Lifetime "based on a true story"movie, I thought back on all the princes I'd loved and lost, and thought maybe everything really does happen for a reason.
Now, I don't think any man would run off and get married while still married to me (umm...I can actually almost guarantee you of that. There are just some things you just don't try with some people. I'm just saying!), but I do believe that having to let go then, has saved me from a lot of hurt and heart break now.
I can't imagine how the (first) wife must be feeling right now, and I wouldn't want to change places with her in a million years.
 |
| Okay, this isn't really her. Just think of of this as a dramatic interpretation. |
It's true that everything that glitters isn't gold, and that applies to flawless, princess cut, Harry Winston, diamond,wedding rings too. I honestly believe that if it were my time to be married, I would be. But looking back, I'm glad that I didn't rush myself into any situation, that wasn't really a perfect fit.
To the original wife, my heart truly goes out to you, and our doors here at the Salon are always wide open.
As for me, the next time I'm at the club and the d.j. starts asking the single women to make some noise, I plan to be the loudest (and the flyest!) singlelista on the dance floor!
Love life...every SINGLE moment of it!
-xoxo
