We're baaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!!!!
Did you miss us?
We totally missed you!
And speaking of back, I know you know by now, that Elin Nordegren officially got the green light to run and never look back on her embarrassingly unfaithful ex-husband, Tiger Woods.
I have to admit, that it really hurt my heart to watch that whole horror unfold. I mean, even with a divorce settlement that could re-stimulate half of the American economy by itself, I never feel good about seeing a family fall apart, particularly in such a highly publicized, how-is-it-even-possible-to-have-that-many-mistresses kind of way.
Now with the period finally imprinted at the end of that great tragedy, here are a few lessons I think we singlelistas can learn from the Woods:
1. Never trust a man named after an animal.
So, here's the thing, tigers are predatory. They live in the jungle and they are hunters by nature. Mr. Woods told her exactly who he was from the moment he said, "Hi. My name is_____." We've all been taught not to judge a book by its cover, but you should absolutely judge a man by his name. In a broader, and slightly more serious sense, we as women have to learn to stop looking past the warning signs of potential dating disasters.
So often, the men who wind up causing the most drama in our lives come with some sort of warning label that we choose to ignore. Perhaps it's not always as obvious as an I.D. card that reads "Killer" but the signs are usually there.
Our hearts cannot afford for our eyes to close themselves to the tell-tell signs that he might not be the one. Take in ALL the information, signals, and cues your suitor is giving you, before you leap into "I Do." This holds especially true should you ever come across a man who introduces himself as Lion, Bear, Hawk, Pit Bull, Snake, Shark, or Killer Whale.
2. It's perfectly OK to kick his a#@.
Jaws dropped, we all watched the news story that reported Elin had all but clubbed Tiger to death. The story I kept waiting for, but never saw, was the one where she had been charged with domestic abuse, assault and battery, or attempted murder. Nope, it never happened. So ladies, what you now have is legal precedent that an occasional a#@ kicking is nonpunishable by the law, when so obviously deserved.
Now, here at The Singles' Salon, we don't condone or encourage domestic abuse of any form and have no interest in watching any of our beloved singlelistas on an upcoming episode of Snapped. That said, we do condone, admonish, and encourage all women to kick a cheating flame's unfaithful a#@...to the curb! Love should make you smile way more than it makes you cry, and it should never, ever humiliate you.
You're a fab, fly, superwoman, and when you find that you can do bad all by yourself, then by all means, be by yourself. Besides, we'll always love you!
3. Being single has its benefits.
In Elin's case, said benefits amounted to a staggering settlement of 750 million dollars!
Right! It doesn't matter how many times you read, hear, or say that, it never loses it shock factor!
It pays to do the right thing, and that's exactly what Elin did. I know that there are those who truly believe in "til death do us part," but I don't think that applies when your sweetie's reckless actions are going to lead to your untimely death. That doesn't just go for sex crazed men. It also applies to those who hit women, or even those who just too often make us cry. Your physical, mental, and emotional health are paramount. Don't ever put that on the line for anyone.
It may seem difficult to walk away from a toxic relationship, but living in your own self-imposed misery for a lifetime will be far worse. Love you. Live for you. And don't waste your time with anyone else that can't love and live for you too.
Even if you don't get a $750 million payout, you'll absolutely gain your peace of mind-- and that, my loves, is priceless!
Til tomorrow singlelistas! We love and missed you so!
Love life...every SINGLE moment of it!
-xoxo
