Where in the World is The Singles' Salon??

Greetings from Hawaii!

Well, maybe not Hawaii, but vacation all the same!



We at The Salon are on currently on vacay, but we'll be right back next Monday with our regularly scheduled single shots of fabness!


In the meantime, enjoy this beach inspired recipe with some of your girlfriends while we're gone, and we'll be relaxing beachside dreaming up lots of great new content to help you Love life...every SINGLE moment of it!

A Day At The Beach

(yields 2 servings)

2 oz coconut rum

1 oz amaretto almond liqueur


8 oz orange juice


1 oz grenadine syrup
 
Shake rum, amaretto, and orange juice in a shaker filled with ice. Strain into a highball glass over ice. Add grenadine and garnish with a pineapple wedge and a strawberry.    -source
 
 

-xoxo

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A Single Piece of Mail

We LOVE getting mail here at the Salon, and this particular reader's letter made our hearts skip two beats!

Below, this fab darling details for us how she went from being stood up to having a stand out night, and she even offers us deets on new chick lit that sounds like a must-read for singlelistas everywhere! 

Grab your morning latte and have a peek at this letter. Get your week started with a little singlelista spirit...and pass it on!

Dear SS:
I haven’t been on a date in a minute and while I don’t really mind given my hectic schedule and recent lackluster encounters, I was in the mood to get dolled up and head out for a night on the town with a cute guy...no strings, pretense or drama attached.


I’m a proud Singlelista but I’m woman enough to admit that I sometimes need the companionship of the opposite sex – the type of up close and personal attention you get when you’re on a semi-date with a cool guy you know who shares your interests but not your bed.

You may or may not have dated but still keep in touch and hang out from time to time when you’re not seeing someone else. He probably still likes you so he’ll gladly play boyfriend-girlfriend for the night so you can get your man-fix (don’t judge me…you know you’ve done it before).


Coincidentally, my friend (and former flame) "Kevin" called and suggested we get together for dinner and a movie this weekend. Kevin is one of the most honest, hard -working people I know so I wasn’t shocked or even pissed when he got caught up at the office and postponed our plans.


Since I clearly wasn’t going to have a fabulous Singlelistas Night Out, I was determined to enjoy a phenomenal Singlelistas Night In. That’s right….One Monkey Don’t Stop No Show [a reference to your previous post---my personal fave]!

I changed into my favorite PJs, poured myself a glass of Moscato and dived right into a new book at the top of my reading list, “On Being a Bachelor: Thoughts on Dating, Mating and Relating,” by one very fabulous Singlelista at heart, Blane Bachelor (yes, Bachelor is her real last name).


I love to read but only a handful of relationship books have ever held my attention like this one.

Seriously, the book had me alternately sighing and laughing hysterically the ENTIRE NIGHT!!!!! Ms. Bachelor managed to strike the perfect balance between providing side-splitting, dead-on observations about the dating scene and offering words of wisdom and encouragement. It’s hard to pick my favorite one-liner or scenario but here’s a sampling of some memorable excerpts.


On deciphering the language of love:


“You’re going to make someone so happy one day.”


Translation: That someone will never be me.

The embarrassment of a lingering hickey:


“Of course, a hickey doesn’t look especially classy, but it’s not like you have pubic hair stuck in your teeth.”


On Valentine’s Day:


“When Valentine’s Day rolls around, I almost feel sorry for the guys, agonizing over how much to spend, where to make reservations and whether buying that red lace teddy will get them slapped or laid.”


On First Loves:


“…who can forget the first person they fell hard for – and who fell for them in return? Even if it ended, as it often does, in searing heartbreak, all the stuff up to the eventual break can make an indelible mark on our soul and our psyche.”


On finding out her ex-boyfriend was gay:


“My ex dropped the announcement into an email without much elaboration, and [my friend] S. broke the news to me as gently as possible. My first thought, however, was anything but gentle: Was he taking it up the ass while we were together?”


And my personal fave-


A Resolution to Live By:


“I will excuse myself from the pity party. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Being single is the equivalent to the ultimate American right: freedom! We can do what we want, with whom we want, without a soul to answer to but ourselves.”


As a self-proclaimed singlelista, I couldn’t have agreed more. Thanks to Blane's book, and all the tips I've gotten from the Singles' Salon, I had a perfectly memorable date night-- with me!

XOXO
-Ms. E
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Thanks so much E. for your letter! We'll treasure it forever.

In the meantime, we're on a personal mission to get our hands on Blane Bachelor's book.  Stay tuned, because if it's anything as fab as what our reader has described above, we'll def be talking about it again soon.   We've tracked down the web site for the book and if you'd like to get a copy for your own Singlelistas Night In, you can find "On Being a Bachelor,” at www.askabachelor.com.

Got more singlelista suggestions or a fab story of your own you'd like to share? Email us at singlelistas@gmail.com.  Remember, sharing is caring, ladies!

Love Life. Every SINGE moment,
~xoxo

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Movin' On Mondays: The Greatest Love of All

Hey singlelistas! How was your weekend? Absolutely DIVINE I hope!

Well, it's Monday (sad face!) but more than that it's the first day of our new feature Movin' On Mondays (excited face!). 

As we've shared with you, our mission at the Salon is to empower and uplift single women everywhere, and part of that is helping some of our newly single ladies transition into full singlelista status. 

We know it's hard to celebrate being single when you're still mourning over the loss of your other half.  Break-ups hurt (Don't I know it!?! Remind me to tell you of the time I locked myself in the basement of my parents' house in the dead of winter with no heat on, while playing Etta James "I'd Rather Go Blind" on repeat. On second thought, let's just say it wasn't pretty and move on. Ahem...) so we're dedicating Mondays to helping would-be-singlelistas push past the pain and enter into full out fabulousness!

Today we're helping one reader check  out of Heartbreak Hotel and into The Singles' Salon.  An excerpt of what she wrote us is below:

"I just don't know what to do."

"...I've been in this relationship for 11 years now and for the past five I've watched it deteriorate to almost nothing. 

We don't really talk anymore and we fight more than we get along because I believe he's doing things that my boyfriend shouldn't be doing. I've never really CAUGHT him cheating, but I know enough to know that things aren't on the straight and narrow with him.

We used to do almost everything together, but now it's as though we lead two completely separate lives.  In my head I know I'm holding on to what we used to have, because I would have never signed up for this B.S. that we have now. My heart isn't quite ready to let go though because I really and truly do love him. 

I can't believe I'm even writing this letter, but I can't talk to my friends about it anymore because they don't like him and I already know what they're going to say.  I just don't know what to do.  Should I stay or should I go? I just want to be happy.  I used to be happy with him.  Now I just don't know anymore."
-----

Oh, doll! My heart is breaking just reading your letter because it's a feeling I know all too well.  The question of when to call it quits is so personal that I unfortunately can't give you a static timeline that tells you exactly what point you need to wave the white flag, as much as I wish I could. 

I can tell you this with complete confidence though, you should not be alone in your relationship. One of the biggest complaints women who are not in relationships have is that we get tired of being alone.  What many of us forget though is that we have the freedom of choice in that matter.  No, we may not be able to speed dial the man of our dreams on command, but there usually is somebody we can call if we really just want company for the moment.  (Don't judge me. Even Broadway has stand-ins for its leading men!) 

The problem with being in a two-some where the other person has seemingly gone awol is that even in your loneliest hour, you no longer have the freedom of calling up your stand-in. 

I'm not going to tell you to whether or not to leave your relationship, because that's a call that only you can make. I do however want to address  the last line of your letter.  My strong advice is Don't chase a relationship, chase happiness.

When we place our relationships as the most important priority in our lives, if we don't choose well we usually wind up sacrificing our own happiness.  When we put our happiness first, we often  sacrifice bad relationships.  Once you learn to love you first, it will be much easier to gauge your partner's love (or lack there-of) for you.

Finally, with absolutely no judgement attached, I want to point out that the fact that he is still your boyfriend after 11 years may be very telling.  It's also worth noting that many times when our friends, those who truly love us, don't approve of our partners there's usually a really good reason for that. 

It is true that love is blind, but let the pursuit of  your own happiness be your eyes.  You have the power to mend your own broken heart, and it sounds like you've got a strong circle of friends to help support you through it.

We at the Salon are sending you a Singlelista Survival Kit, filled with goodies to help you reconnect with your fabulousness.  We are also sentencing you to a fab Singlelistas Night Out so that you and your friends can celebrate everything that is wonderful and worthy about you!

Thanks so much for sharing this with us, and please keep us posted as you make your decision. Just remember that "learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all!"


Whitney Houston - Greatest Love Of All
Uploaded by jpdc11. - See the latest featured music videos.

Love life...every SINGLE moment of it!
-xoxo 

----
Do you or someone you know need help checking out of Heartbreak Hotel?  Email us at singlelistas@gmail.com and tell us about it.  Enter the subject line Movin' On Mondays so that we make your letter a priority. 

If you've got additional advice, thoughts, or feedback for our distressed diva, please offer your comments below.

Remember, we're in this single life together!

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SNO- Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

First and foremost I have to give honor to the original diva of Singlelistas Night Out (SNO), the one and only Cyndi Lauper who gave us this anthem more than twenty years ago. 

Nearly three decades later, the sentiment still holds true and we singlelistas know that life is too short to sit around waiting to be asked to the dance. 

So Fridays at The Singles' Salon is officially dedicated to Singlelistas Night Out (*cue confetti drop and raucous applause)!  We'll give you our suggestions for fairy tale evenings with the girls and you give us yours. Together, we'll make sure that our lives our lived to the fullest and that each and every weekend we paint the town pink!

This week we're encouraging everyone to have a "culturally chic" weekend (thanks Sandra!) by calling up a girlfriend or two (please note that gay boyfriends are welcomed;we'll chat about the importance of those very soon!) and feeding your passion for the performing arts (if you haven't yet acquired said passion, now is a great time to start fueling your new obsession!). 

The evening should progress as follows:

5:30- Singlelistas convene at a chic tapas restaurant within 10 miles of the performance venue for a two-hour session of dinner, drinks, and girl talk focused expressly on celebrity gossip, recent fashion purchases, drama at the office, and of course-- boys! (I know what you're thinking "This evening is supposed to be all about the ladies." And you're right, but let's face it, you're dying to tell your girlfriends about the ridiculous/sweet/ridiculously sweet thing that your crush said or did this week, and they are dying to hear about it!)

7:30- Arrive at the performance venue and find your seat.
(Note: most shows begin promptly at 8 PM.  You should plan to arrive 30 minutes before the show, tickets in hand, so as not to be "those women" walking in late. It's tacky and everyone in the theater will be talking about you. Besides, if you show up once the house lights have already gone down, you deprive everyone of the opportunity to see your new Jimmy Choos, and who doesn't love a good fashion show?!  Moral of the story-- don't be selfish, be on time!)

8:00- The curtain goes up and the entertainment begins.
(Shhh!--- NO TALKING! Save all comments for intermission.  Remember, we're fab, not obnoxious!)

10:30- The show concludes. You offer polite applause and  proceed to the nearest wine cellar or ultra-lounge,depending on your mood.  The key here is that drinking must be involved. After-show cocktails are an essential component of Singlelistas Night Out.

Until- That's what time you leave- whenever you feel like it, because not having to rush home is one of the perks of living single. (Don't you just love your life!)

We've taken the liberty of looking up and making recommendations for some artistically appetizing events happening in a few major cities.  If we didn't include your town, write us at Singlelistas@gmail.com  and tell us what show you and your girlfriends will be going to see. 

Atlanta-  The Phantom of the Opera
Chicago- Blue Man Group
Los Angeles- Thurgood
New York- The Heights
San Francisco- Wicked
Washington, DC- Avenue Q

Oh- a few critical rules for Singlelistas Night Out:

1. Look AMAZING
2. Look AMAZING
3. Take lots of pictures*
4. Look AMAZING
5. HAVE A FUN, FABULOUS, and UNFORGETTABLE EVENING!!

*Once your evening turns out fab, email us your SNO pics and we just may post them next week!

Love life...every SINGLE moment of it!
-xoxo

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