Earlier this week I was checking my singlelista mail and came across an invitation to a magazine launch party. Now experience has taught me that "magazine launch party" is usually code for "can't- miss affair" so I marked my calendar, picked out my dress, and began counting down the days until I'd get my sipping-martinis-on-a-roof top on.
When party day rolled around I thought it'd be a good idea to actually note which magazine I was going to help launch, and was further intrigued when I saw that it was a publication dedicated solely to dating. Hmmm...very interesting! As a singlelista myself, I imagined that I was exactly the new rag's target audience and couldn't wait to go prance around in my peep toes and mingle with other sassy singlelistas, while showing off my modest yet striking, red, happy-hour dress.
At 7 PM sharp, I pulled up to the hotel, met one of my girlfriends in the lobby and after exchanging the pre-requisite "Hey girl! I haven't seen you in so long" (i.e. about 3 days) hug, we got on the elevator and headed to the roof where all of the launch party fabulousness awaited.
Eight seconds later the doors opened and we quickly scanned the scene. We saw pink cocktails, flowing summer frocks, and a registration table adorned in fresh flowers, raffle bowls, and magazine covers, of course! Assured that we were definitely in the right place, we headed over to the registration table to get started on our fun, fab night with our kind of people.
After signing us in, the perfectly bronzed registration attendant handed us our raffle tickets and directed us to complete and put on our name tags. No problem! Where it read "Hi. My name is_______," I penned my Jane Hancock in the most fashionable penmanship I could muster up. I was already off to a perfectly stylish start. Great!
Then I saw it.
In the upper right corner of the name tag were two multiple choice options:
____ I'm taken.
____ I'm available.
I paused.
Exactly whose idea was this?!? Okay, I get that I'm at a party for a magazine designed to help people date more effectively, but these two options were soooo not singlelista approved!
I stood there for a moment, staring at my options and performing a micro-psycho-evaluation of myself. How do I begin to answer this? What if neither of these applies to me? Wait...neither of these does apply to me.
Granted, I'm not "taken." (Although even if I were in a relationship I don't know that I'd identify myself as "taken." I mean, if someone has been taken, then shouldn't the family of that person call the cops or something?)
I digress.
No, I'm not in a relationship, or "taken", but I hadn't come to the point where I'd recognized myself as "available" either. What does that even mean? Available to do what exactly?
I was stumped.
After standing there for a moment with my motionless sharpie in hand, I realized that there was a line of people standing behind me waiting to sign in. I needed to make a decision. In retrospect I should have created my own box and written in I'm a Singlelista! But instead, I shamefully caved. I checked it. Yep. I walked around all night falsely advertising that I was "available."
Sigh...
I felt like a traitor for sure, but the worse part was watching the reactions of some of the guys at the party as they learned of my status as broadcasted on my name tag. With just a flick of a pen, my friend (also advertising her available-ness) and I became subjected to some of the lamest pick up lines, pitches for dating services, and awkward conversations I've ever sat through.
Is this what it's like to be "available?"
I couldn't!
Ten minutes in I removed my name tag and discreetly placed it in my black croc clutch. Putting on that "I'm available" label opened the door to advances that I would have never wished on my worst single enemy. I could no longer let the world (or at least the people at the party) believe that I was "available" without first defining the terms.
I thought it better to be the hot girl in the red dress with no name tag. That way if anybody cared to know who I was or what I was about, they'd have to man up and come over to ask me-- no preconceived notions attached.
*******
What do you think singlelistas? Do you consider yourself to be available? Is being single and being available the same thing? What would you have marked on your name tag?
Let a singlelista know!
Love life...every SINGLE moment of it!
-xoxo
