Girrrrrrrrls!!!!! As your fab, fairy, single-godmother I am obligated to let you know that I have discovered the secret to living a happy, single life!
Forget what you've heard; you don't need a mate, what you need is a good masseuse! (Actually, did you know that masseuse is the feminine form of masseur? Yep, so technically male or female, it doesn't really matter- just get you one!) What you need is someone who can rub, caress, and stroke your troubles away!
For the past few weeks, I've been working overtime and my body has been feeling the burn. Because I don't enjoy access to the live-in body-rubber that my married friends enjoy as a bonus to their lifetime commitment, morning after morning I've been waking up all kinds of sore, and unable to move parts of my body that I previously didn't know existed, in ways that I'd otherwise have been unable to imagine.
The final straw was this shooting pain that had taken up residency in my neck, thereby rendering me unable to execute my signature, attitudinal, neck roll on-demand. Foreign body discomforts were one thing, but impeding upon my divatude could not be tolerated, so I did what I am now demanding that every true singlelista do on a regular basis. I called my friendly, neighborhood spa and booked an appointment for a one-hour Swedish massage- STAT!
An hour and a half after hanging up the phone, I found myself laying nude on a table under the ambient glow of flickering, scented candles, surrounded by a soundtrack of melodies that calmed me beyond all of my inhibitions. For the first time in a long time, I was completely at ease.
Once my attendant got started, it was hard for me to stop myself from audibly expressing exactly how much pleasure I was deriving from her work. With each masterful stroke of my body, I could literally feel the stress of my life melting away. With each caress I felt lighter and lighter and by the end of our time together, I felt completely weightless.
Mmmm.....this is how life should feel everyday! All I needed was a glass of champagne to top me off and I'd have emerged from that small, intimate, setting positively glowing!
Leaving my appointment feeling like a new woman, I thought back to the last time I'd felt that sensational, and I realized it was when I was with my ex last--whenever that was. What I experienced earlier that day wasn't sexual at all, but it was completely satisfying just the same.
So after doing a little digging (because singlelistas are curious and are always looking to better understand ourselves and the world we live in), I learned that our skin is in fact our bodies' largest organ, and that when touched it triggers our brain to release endorphins.
Now, without turning this into a medical dissertation on the benefits of massage, I am hereby declaring that it is absolutely mandatory for all singlelistas to get more rubbin' in our lives!
If you haven't done so lately, visit your local spa and indulge in your own almost-better-than-orgasmic experience. If you've already been recently, book another appointment and try a new massage type (warning- I'd be careful with the deep tissue massage; I hear it's not for the faint-at-heart!).
And as you're laying nude on a table in a dimly-lit room of your own remember, This Rub's for YOU!
Love life!
-xoxo
