Where would you go if nothing was holding you back?
What would you do if you were destined to win?
Who would you be if you could design your own life?
Now, tell me exactly what's stopping you again?
OK, so Maya Angelou I'm not, but stick with me because this one's good.
A few months ago I realized that I hated my life.
I hated my job. I was in a sorta-kinda-relationship that was going nowhere at light speed. I wasn't involved in any activities or programs that added value to my life or contributed to humanity. Overall, I felt completely stuck and was beginning to question what had become of my life.
Then through an unexpected, and what I thought to be tragic, chain of events I became unstuck from it all, literally. My job let me go. My sorta-kinda-relationship fell completely apart and, well, I still wasn't involved in anything meaningful. As I stood in the midst of my dissipating life I stopped and asked myself the question many people in my position would ask...
What the Hell?!?
I KNEW this was not my life, and it definitely was not the one I had envisioned for myself. I'd worked too hard in school, spent too many nights making "smart" decisions when I could have been out doing God knows what with God knows who. I'd sacrificed waaaay too much "right now" for "better later" to find myself broke, jobless, and wallowing in cheap wine (ahem...fine wine was no longer in the unemployment budget). The mere idea of having to trade in Tiffany's for Target and Nordstrom for knock-offs was way more than I could bear. I knew right then that something drastic had to be done.
I won't tell you how my story ends, because the truth is, it's still a work in progress. But I can tell you that every morning when I wake up now,I kiss the sun and tell the universe how happy I am to be here. I made a promise to myself that I would live on purpose and I've been walking in that ever since.
Reflecting on my darker days, I realized that I'd gone wrong by allowing life to happen to me. These days I'm happening to life.
I no longer do things that don't make me happy. I don't give my time to jobs that don't fulfill or appreciate me. I stopped pouring love into people who won't love me back. I've taken the time that I was throwing away in nonreciprocal "situations" and given them instead to people and causes that need and appreciate my gifts.
My best friend told me once that "Happiness is a decision," and that if I didn't like who I was becoming then I needed to "change clothes and go." (Yeah...I'm pretty sure she stole that last part from Jay-Z! *wink*)
She'd be happy to know that I'm doing exactly that and I have to tell you that it feels really good!
The great thing about being a singlelista is that you're still blessed to be in a position where you can make radical decisions that have minimal impact on the people you love.
You don't have to get hubby's buy-in if you want to change cities.
If you decide to quit your job and start a business tomorrow, nobody's going to starve but you. Even if you're a single mother you have more freedom to change than those who have made a commitment to share their lives because it's still YOUR life.
I dare you to think of one thing you've always wanted to do and do it today. Dream of who you've always wanted to be and become her today. There's power in freedom. Claim yours while you still have it.
To what country would you move? For what job would you apply? What career move would you make? What nonprofit would you start? What over-priced handbag would you buy? (Sorry...I got caught up! Ignore that last line!)
Where would you go if nothing was holding you back?
Start today. GO!!
Love life...every SINGLE moment of it!
-xoxo
